You Are Two Point Three Meters from Your Destination

Commencing Route for Orpheus of Thrace.

Proceed from Ciconian Coast meadow south–southwest to mouth of Eurotas River in Laconia, approximately eight hundred kilometers. Travel time to waypoint: seven days at your current speed.

Head ninety–two kilometers south to Cape Taenarus, also known as Matapan. Find Taenarus Gate.

Recalculating. Find Taenarus Gate. Proceed to route.

Pass into Taenarus Gate and proceed to River Styx.

A toll is required. Exact change is required.

Proceed to route. Descend five thousand kilometers to throne room. Time to destination: unknown.

Arriving at throne room. Proceed five point two meters to throne. Avoid abyss. Make your request.

Receiving new information from satellites. Calculating return trip.

Exit throne room, follow northern path to Vale of Avernus, Cicero, Italy. Approximately six thousand kilometers.

Proceed up incline. No turns are permitted on this route.

Proceed up incline. You are five hundred meters from your destination.

No turns are permitted on this route. You are one hundred meters from your destination.

You are two point three meters from your destination. Proceed up…recalculating.

Recalculating. Proceed to route.

Proceed to… No crossing of the River Styx is possible at this time.

Proceed to route. Recalculating. Proceed ahead from River Styx, approximately five thousand kilometers to mouth of Acheron River.

Calculating new destination. Proceed six hundred kilometers north–northeast through forest to Rhodope Mountains. Time to destination, five days to three years. Several drinking establishments ahead on left.

New route selected.

Fran Wilde

Fran Wilde’s novels and short stories have been finalists for three Nebula awards, two Hugo Awards, and a World Fantasy Award. They include her Andre Norton- and Compton Crook-winning debut novel, Updraft (Tor, 2015); its sequels, Cloudbound and Horizon; the middle-grade novel Riverland (forthcoming from Abrams in April 2019); and the novelette “The Jewel and Her Lapidary.” Her short stories appear in Asimov’s, Tor.com, Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Shimmer, Nature, and the 2017 Year’s Best Dark Fantasy and Horror. “Clearly Lettered in a Mostly Steady Hand,” which appeared in Uncanny, was a finalist for the Nebula, Hugo, and World Fantasy Award, and won the 2018 Eugie Foster Memorial Award. You can find her on Twitter, Facebook, and at franwilde.net.

photo by Kyle Cassidy

5 Responses to “You Are Two Point Three Meters from Your Destination”

  1. Sylvia

    Absolutely brilliant.

  2. 2015 Eligibility Post for Me and 143 Other People – Fran Wilde

    […] “You are Two Point Three Meters from Your Destination,” Uncanny:  (Issue Three, Spring 2015) Commencing Route for Orpheus of Thrace. Proceed from Ciconian Coast meadow south–southwest to mouth of Eurotas River in Laconia, approximately eight hundred kilometers. Travel time to waypoint: seven days at your current speed(read more) […]

  3. 2015 Recommended Reading, Retropectives, and Notes | Michael Matheson | A Dark and Terrible Beauty

    […] Wilde – You Are Two Point Three Meters From Your Destination (Uncanny, March […]

  4. nottenst

    Fran read this Sunday May 29, 2016 at Balticon 50 during the Dangerous Voices Variety Hour. It was well appreciated.

  5. Recap: May 2016 - Over The Effing Rainbow

    […] fantasy story, and as my first taste of Fran Wilde’s work (not counting her short story ‘You Are Two Point Three Meters From Your Destination’), it’s definitely left me wanting more. It reads like a blend of fantasy and […]

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